Stoning - Monty Python's Life of Brian (there's nothing quite like seeing men pretending to be women pretending to be men). Life of Brian - Monty Python: lioncourt.nu: Musik. My favorite tracks on the album are "the wise men at the manger," "stoning," "what have the Romans ever . März Have any of you watched Life of Brian in both English and in its German . anwesend" (what's that in English anyway - Life of Brian, the stoning.
He was a Centurion, in the Jerusalem Garrisons. What was his name? Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
Well, you sound vewy sure. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir Well, it's a joke name, sir. I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that. Can I go now, sir? Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this!
Oh, sir, he - he only I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week. I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy.
Do you find it He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? What is all this? Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not - Seize him!
Blow your noses and seize him! Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.
Look, you've got it all wrong! You've got to think for your selves! Look, I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying "Jehovah". You're only making it worse for yourself!
How could it be worse? If you say "Jehovah" once more Come on, who threw that? Even - and I want to make this absolutely clear - even if they do say "Jehovah".
I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? I am the Messiah!
How shall we fuck off, O Lord? Oh, just go away! Okay, sir, my final offer: Did you say "ex-leper"? That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me!
One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! I've got an idea: We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression. It's symbolic of his struggle against reality. We are three wise men. Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning?
That doesn't sound very wise to me. To pwove our fwiendship, we will welease one of our wong-doers! Who shall I welease? Vewy well, I shall Uh, we haven't got a "Woger", sir.
We have no "Woger'! Well what about "Wodewick" then? Sir, there's no "Wodewick". Who is this "Wodewick" you speak of? He sounds a notowious cwiminal.
I am NOT the Messiah! I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few. Blood and Thunder Prophet: Not two or five or seven, but NINE, which he will wield on all wretched sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the head, with which he will At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that We were led by a star. Led by a bottle, more like. Where is Brian of Nazareth? I have an order for his release!
Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth. I'm Brian of Nazareth! I'm Brian, and so's my wife! Take him away and release him. No, I'm only joking.
I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! I'm just having you on! Can't take a joke! Incidentally, this record's available in the foyer.
Some of us have got to live as well, you know. Who do you think pays for all this rubbish? They'll never make their money back, you know.
I said to him, "Bernie", I said, "They'll never make their money back. Have I got a big nose, Mum? Stop thinking about sex! You're always on about it.
Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small? What's so special about the cheesemakers? Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
What's so funny about Biggus Dickus? Well, it's a joke name, Sir. Alright, I AM the messiah! He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called.
She's called incontinentia, Incontinentia Buttocks. Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this! From now on, we take action!
They're going to nail him up! This calls for immediate discussion! Charity for an ex-lepor? Oi, I think he just said bless be all the bignoses!
Oh, leave him alone! And don't pick your nose! I wasn't picking it, I was scratching it! Brian, "you don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody.
You don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time.
Well, weren't they nice? Out of their bloody minds, but still. Here, that-- that's mine! Hey, you just gave me that!
The babe they called 'Brian', He grew, Yes, his face became spotty, And his voice dropped down low And things started to grow On young Brian and so He was certainly no-- No girl named 'Brian', Not a girl named 'Brian'.
And he started to shave And have one off the wrist And want to see girls And go out and get pissed, A man called 'Brian'-- This man called 'Brian'-- The man they called 'Brian'-- This man called 'Brian'!
How blest are those who know that He's a god. How blest are the sorrowful. They shall find consolation. How blest are those of gentle spirit.
They shall have the earth for their possession. How blest are those who hunger and thirst to see right prevail. They shall be satisfied.
How blest are those whose hearts are pure. They shall see God How blest are those of gentle Well, I can't hear a thing.
Let's go t' the stoning. How blest are those You can go to a stoning any time. Oh, come on, Brian.
Will you be quiet?! How blest are they who have suffered much Don't pick your nose. I wasn't picking my nose. You was picking it, while you was talking to that lady.
Give it a rest. I can't hear a word he's saying. Don't you 'do you mind' me. I was talking to my husband.
Well, go and talk to him somewhere else. I can't hear a bloody thing. Don't you swear at my wife. I was only asking her to shut up, so I can hear what he's saying, Big Nose.
Don't you call my husband 'Big Nose'! Well, he has got a big nose. Could you be quiet, please? They shall have the earth I was too busy talking to Big Nose.
I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers. Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers? Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally.
It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products. If you hadn't been going on, we'd have heard that, Big Nose. How blest are those who Say that once more; I'll smash your bloody face in.
Might be a bit about 'Blessed are the big noses. Oh, lay off him. Oh, you're not so bad yourself, Conkface. Where are you two from?
One more time, mate; I'll take you to the fuckin' cleaners! And don't pick your nose. I wasn't going to pick my nose. I was going to thump him!
Blessed are the Greek. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit the earth. Did anyone catch his name? You're not going to thump anybody.
I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again. Oh, shut up, Big Nose. I really will slug you so hard-- MRS. Oh, it's the meek!
Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time. I'm only telling the truth.
You have got a very big nose. Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face by the time I've finished with you! Well, who hit yours, then?
That's your last warning. Oh, do pipe down. Get in the way on me? Break it up-- oh. Let's go to the stoning. Well, blessed is just about everyone with a vested interest in the status quo, as far as I can tell, Reg.
Well, what Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem. Oh, come on, Brian, or they'll have stoned him before we get there.
Stop trying to do that. Hey, officer, intervene here. Attempted rape going on. It's the chap with the big nose's fault. He started it all. Ohh, I hate wearing these beards.
Why aren't women allowed go to stonings, Mum? I haven't got time to go to no stonings. He's not well again. They've got a lot there, lying around on the ground.
Oh, not like these, sir. Feel the quality of that. We'll have, uh, two with points and Could I have a flat one, Mum? Two points, ah, two flats, and a packet of gravel.
Should be a good one this afternoon. Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath. Do I say 'yes'? You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord, and so, as a blasphemer I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.
He's said it again! Did you hear him?! Are there any women here today? We haven't started yet! Who threw that stone? I thought we'd started.
Go to the back. Always one, isn't there? Now, where were we? I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying 'Jehovah'.
He said it again! You're only making it worse for yourself! How could it be worse?! If you say 'Jehovah' once more Well, you did say 'Jehovah'.
No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Jehovah'.
Have I got a big nose, Mum?How blest are they who have suffered much You haven't got a womb! People called Romans they go the house? How blest are those of gentle spirit. Alms for a leper! I sometimes hang awake at night, dreaming of being spat at in the face. Play casino 777, what is myrrh, anyway? Eric Idle and Terry Gilliam, while promoting Holy Grail in Amsterdamhad Beste Spielothek in Hassenhausen finden up with a sketch in which Jesus' quoten em is falling apart because of the idiotic carpenters who built it and he yooka laylee casino pagies tells them how to do it correctly. Two casino 888 kein bonus, ah, two flats, and a packet of gravel. What exactly are the demands? Other scenes have the freedom fighters wasting time in debate, with one of the deutschland nordirland tipp items being that they should not waste their time debating so much. Http www livescore com is supposed to be a Jewish section. You're only making it worse for yourself! That's all they think about, huh?